The Party Scene
by dirt whispered
Summary: Addison Stuart is dumped on her aunt and uncle. She's the 'problem child.'- Can she run from her past? And will she find the person who can change her future? *Includes All Time Low, Alex Gaskarth, Rian, Jack, and Zack, as well as new original character
1. is kind of mean

A story of new beginnings

Today is Friday the thirteenth, the day I've been dreading for the past two weeks. Usually thirteen is my lucky number, but I guess it decided to turn against me. I was being sent to live with my Aunt Shannon and her husband, Bill. I had finished packing my bags and was sitting on my windowsill, looking out at my back yard.

"Addison! We need to get going, we have a long drive ahead of us," my mom was yelling up the stairs.

Why did she think I cared about having to drive three hours to get to my 'wild child' turned 'step ford wife' of an aunt's house. I didn't even want to go in the first place.

I grabbed the last of my bags and stomped down the stairs past my parents and my little brother, heading straight to the car. My little brother, Toby, stopped me.

"I'll miss you sis," he said putting his arms around my waist.

"I'll miss you too, kid." He was probably the only person I would miss while I was gone. Well not the only person.

My mom climbed into the driver's seat as I threw my bag over my seat before getting in the front. I immediately put in my headphones as my mom pulled out of the driveway. There was no way I was going to listen to my mother rant and lecture all the way to Baltimore.

I must have fallen asleep. The last thing I remember, we were just crossing the border into Maryland. Now we were pulling into a residential neighborhood. My mom gently shook my shoulder. "Honey, were almost there."

"Ugh." I so wasn't looking forward to this.

You see my parents sent me here because they didn't know how to handle me. Apparently I was difficult, and my Aunt Shannon was the queen of difficult. I had heard stories from when she and my mom were kids. She got into trouble all the time, but straightened herself out when she met Bill. Bill is my uncle. He's an attorney. He is straitlaced and uptight. He turned my wild child of an aunt into the saintly stay at home mom, who could do no wrong.

I could tell when we reached the right house. Not only because I had been here a few times growing up, but also because my aunt and uncle were standing on the lawn waving at us.

My mom parked the car on the side of the road and ran out to greet her sister and brother in-law. I stayed in the car. As I mentioned before I wasn't really anxious for this moment. I stared up at what would be my new home for the next, God knows how long, and cringed internally.

Eventually, my mom noticed that I was still in the car, so she opened my door, all but dragging me out.

"Honey, come say hi to your aunt and uncle. They are anxious to see you."

I dragged my feet, keeping my eyes glued to the concrete walkway. Before I knew it I was at the bottom of the stairs leading to the porch in front of Aunt Shannon.

"Hey Addie-bear. Wow, you've grownup so much. Last time I saw you, you were what, twelve?" Yup. That would be correct. We didn't take many family trips, and I guess they didn't either. We only saw each other at family get-togethers, which didn't occur too often.

I just gave a nod and a small smile. I wasn't about to jump for joy like she obviously was.

I think my uncle sensed my mood and motioned to the car. "I'll go grab your things. Honey, why don't you show her up to her room?" he asked, turning to my aunt.

"Right. Come on Addie, I'll show you around."

"Umm. It's Addison. Nobody calls me Addie anymore," I said without looking at anyone.

Shannon showed me the downstairs before leading me to the second floor. The living room was of to the right, while the dining room was to the left. The stairs were straight ahead, as was the kitchen and a small study. As we went up stairs she pointed out the bathroom and which rooms belonged to whom. Finally, at the end of the hall she motioned to the room I'd be staying in. At least I would have my own room. I could have some solitude in this hopefully temporary prison.

"I think that's all of it," Bill said as he placed my bags in a corner. I just nodded and sat down on the bed.

"Well, I think we will let you be for a little while. You must be tired from your trip. We will call you down when dinner is ready. We're going to be having some guests over tonight, so you might want to wash up before dinner." I guess the drilling began now. My boot camp had started. Well, wasn't I just filled with joy?

I decided to lie down and turn on my iPod to try and drown out the sound of my mother and new prison guards talking downstairs. I had been staring at the ceiling when I heard a knock on the door. It wasn't closed all the way, so it swung open slightly. I lifted my head to see who it was.

"Hey. Mom said I should come say hi." It was my cousin, Rian. Rian was my age, and we got along fine whenever we were together. He looked different now. He had longer hair that was in sort of like a bull cut. He smiled shyly at me with white, straight teeth.

I sat up and waved him in. Might as well try to make one alliance in this prison. "Hey," I said as I turned down my iPod and took out one earpiece.

"So. You ready to start a new school on Monday?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked kind of sarcastically. I mean I'm starting my senior year, not just in a new school, but also in a new school in a different state. Why wouldn't I be ready?

"Look I know this whole thing kind of sucks, but I promise it wont be that bad." I just nodded slightly. "Well, you should probably get ready, dinner should be ready soon." He left, shutting my door behind him.

I decided that I could use a visit to the bathroom. After a minute of trying to remember which door it was, I walked in and faced the mirror. I recognized the girl looking back at me, although I could never equate her with myself. I saw a girl with long, black, wavy hair, with a few thick streaks of purple in it, sad eyes and a smile, that I knew was fake. The only things I recognized were her eyes. They hadn't changed.

I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face. It didn't help to erase the emotions swirling around inside.

I slowly made my way back to my prison cell. Grabbing my small makeup bag from one of my duffels, I made my way over to the mirror that sat atop a dresser. I touched up my black eyeliner, smudging it around the edges and put on some cherry lip-gloss.

Once I was satisfied with my face, or as satisfied as I could be, I scrounged in my bags for a change of clothes. I felt grungy from the drive. I found what I was looking for, a pair of black skinny jeans, a white camisole, and a gray, Glamour Kills tank. As I was changing I heard the doorbell. My aunt had said they were having company for dinner. I threw on the red sweater that I had worn earlier and opened my door, just as Rian had come out of his.

He smiled at me, motioning for me to go down ahead of him. I smiled back before taking the stairs slowly. When I got to the bottom I noticed a couple chatting with Shannon and Bill. There was also a boy leaning against the railing with his back to me. He looked about my age, with light brown hair that stuck up everywhere.

Rian walked around me, clapping a hand on the boys back. "Hey man, what's up?"

The boy turned and smiled at Rian, "Nothing. Tell me why we're having another family dinner tonight? Didn't we already have one this week?"

Rian nodded his head in my direction. The boy, whose name I didn't know yet, turned, noticing me for the first time. "I told you my cousin was coming to stay with us," Rian was saying, but I wasn't paying attention.

When the boy turned, his chocolate brown eyes trapped me. I could get lost in those eyes, wait I already was.

Rian cleared his throat. I looked at him before turning back to the boy in front of me.

"Hi." That was about all I could get out.

"Alex, this is my cousin, Addison. Addie, this is my friend Alex, he lives next door," Rian introduced us.

"So, Addie. I've heard a lot about you," The boy, whose name I now knew was Alex, said with a lopsided grin spreading across his face, revealing a dimple.

"Umm. It's Addison. No one's called me Addie since I was a kid. Besides, you shouldn't believe everything you hear," I said walking past them into the dining room.

Both of the boys followed slowly, and I could hear Alex whisper to Rian, "Dude, you didn't tell me she was hot!"

"Hey, she's my cousin, besides I haven't seen her in like four or five years."

I just smiled to myself. Back home, no one said I was hot anymore. Not since everything happened. They had developed a new vocabulary of words to describe me with.

Dinner was fairly uneventful. Bill sat at the head with Shannon on his right and Rian on his left. I got the impression that those were their assigned seats. I sat next to Rian, with Alex on my left, and his parents sat across from us.

My aunt had made lasagna with salad and garlic bread. I ate the salad and picked at a piece of garlic bread. I wasn't that hungry. As I pushed the lasagna around on my plate around with my fork, my aunt decided to make conversation.

"Addison, your mother told me that you can play guitar, is that true?"

"Umm. Yeah." I hated making conversation, just for the sake of making conversation.

"Really?" Alex asked from beside me. I turned and nodded. "Dude, you didn't tell me anything, did you?" he said over my head to Rian.

"I didn't know," was all Rian contributed.

"Well, it seems you two have something in common," Alex's mom was saying. "The boys have a band. Alex also plays guitar, and Rian plays drums."

I just nodded, not sure what that was supposed to mean to me.

After desert, Bill asked if the boys would show me the basement. I had no idea why, I mean, why would I want to see their basement?

I followed anyway, just to appease him. I had come up with a game plan earlier when I was alone in my new room. Why not just be the good girl everyone wanted me to be, on the surface, so I could go home sooner. I figured it should only take a week or so for my aunt and uncle to realize I wasn't really a 'problem child,' as my mom liked to say.

Rian opened a door in the hallway that looked like it held a closet. He led me down a small staircase as Alex followed behind me.

It was a fairly large basement. To the right were a drum kit and a bunch of music equipment and wires. To the left were a couch, a TV, and a pool table. I definitely wasn't expecting this. The rest of the house was spotless and elegant, while basement was messy. Soda cans were thrown everywhere, couch cushions were strewn across the room, and the walls, which looked like bare concrete, were covered with posters and hand-writing. This looked like many of the basements back home that parties were usually held in. Maybe this wasn't going to be as terrible as I thought.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to sunlight stringing in through my window. I had forgotten to close the curtains. I reached for my phone that was on the nightstand by the bed and groaned. It was 11:00 AM on a Saturday. I was never up before noon on the weekends, I pulled a pillow over my head, but I was already awake, I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. I got out of bed and gathered my travel bag on my way to the bathroom.

I stood in the shower thinking about home. I didn't miss the yelling and fighting that had become a daily occurrence in my house, but there were a few things I missed. I missed Toby. Toby is twelve, and the golden boy. I don't hate him for receiving all of the positive attention; he deserves it. He was probably my one ally in the house. Whenever I got in trouble he would sneak snacks up to my room and sit on my bed with me while we watched I Love Lucy reruns.

The only other thing I missed about home would have to be _**him**__._ I let a few tears fall before washing them away by standing under the flow from the showerhead.

When I was done I dried myself off before wrapping the towel around my body and grabbing my travel bag. I opened the bathroom door to walk back to my room, but I ran into someone in the hallway, dropping my bag and almost causing me to lose my grip on my towel.

"Oh, sorry." I heard the person say.

I grabbed my bag before looking up to see the boy from last night, Alex. He smiled brightly at me, and I blushed. "It's okay, I wasn't watching where I was going," I said as I turned to enter my room across the hall.

"Hey, were having band practice in a few, your welcome to come watch," Alex offered.

I just smiled slightly, turning to nod before shutting my door. This boy was really cute, and apparently he was interested in me. Or at least I thought so; I tended to be wrong about these kinds of things, so I pushed it out of my mind.

I got dressed in a pair of cut off shorts and a pink, oversized v-neck. I slipped on my old black chucks and made my way downstairs.

I found my aunt in the kitchen. "Oh, your up. Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat," she offered.

"Umm, not really. I could use a glass of juice though."

She showed me where the glasses were kept and gestured for me to help myself.

"The boys are downstairs practicing. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you joined them."

"Okay." I didn't mention that Alex already offered for me to watch.

After finishing my juice and setting the cup in the sink I opened the door to the basement. I was greeted my loud, loud music. I was surprised you couldn't hear it all through the house.

When I got downstairs I made my way over to the couch. To my surprise the guys stopped playing.

"Hey, you made it," Alex said as he walked over to sit next to me on the couch.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Whose this?" a boy with black hair that had a white streak in the front asked. He was lanky and tall, my kind of guy.

"Rian's cousin," Alex was saying.

"I'm Addison."

"Who doesn't like to be called Addie," Alex added. I'm surprised he remembered. I smiled to myself.

"So Addison, what brings you to our lovely practice space?" the fourth guy, who was very muscular, asked as he put down the bass he had been playing.

"Umm. It's a long story." I looked at Rian before looking down at my hands. "So you guys are the band?" I asked, even though it seemed pretty obvious.

"Yeah, I'm Jack," the lanky boy started, pointing at himself. He then pointed to the other boy I didn't know, the one who played bass, "that's Zack, and the creeper next to you is Alex."

"Him I know," I said glancing at Alex before smiling at the other two.

"What? How did you meet her first?" Jack asked Alex.

"My family came over for dinner last night."

"Fuck. Why am I never invited to these dinners?" he asked with a pout.

"Because I'm special, and your not, right Rian?" Alex asked.

"Your special alright," Rian responded. I laughed.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" Alex asked incredulous. I just smiled wider at him. These guys seemed like fun. I could get along with them really well.

After spending hours in the basement watching the guys practice and then try to beat each other at video games, Zack and Jack got up to leave.

"Addison, are you coming to the party tonight?" Jack asked before going upstairs.

"Umm. I don't know. I wasn't invited."

"I'm inviting you. So your coming, right?" he clarified.

"I guess," I said looking at Rian who shrugged his shoulders.

* * *

**A/N: I combined my first two chapters because i knew they weren't really that good by themselves. Don't worry the next chapters will be better. I won't post until I get a review, so please...**

**I really like where I'm going with this story, and I think you will too. :)**


	2. I Think It's Sick And Twisted

I went upstairs to get changed for this party that I was apparently just invited to. When I got to my room I felt someone behind me. I turned in the doorway to see Alex.

"Are you stalking me?" I asked with a smile.

"I don't know. Do you want me to?" I was starting to like the lopsided grin that spread across his face.

"Hmm. That depends."

"On what?" he asked

"On whether or not you're a serial killer."

He smiled. "Oh, yeah. But don't tell anyone. I haven't been caught yet," he said while putting a finger to his lips.

I just smiled wider as he walked into Rian's room. Just before I closed my door, Rian peeked in.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked

"Yeah, sure." I motioned to the bed and we both took a seat facing each other.

"First, can I say, I'm glad your staying here? I can tell your going to be fun to hang out with." I nodded slightly and he continued. "Second, I just want to warn you about Alex. I noticed him looking at you. He said he thinks your hot," this he said glancing away, "and well, should I say, he's sort of a man-whore. He's into hooking up and nothing else. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Oh, okay. Thanks," I said. Of course the guy I thought was cute, that paid attention to me, was a player. Just my luck, then again I wasn't really looking for any kind of relationship. I had left one behind when I was forced to move here.

"'Kay, well I'll let you get ready. We're leaving at 8:00."

I shut my door behind Rian and walked over to my unpacked bags. I had an hour before we left for the party, so I figured I'd unpack a bit. Once all my clothes were placed in the dresser drawers I started picking out what I would wear tonight.

I had been to tons of parties back home, and I figured they couldn't be too different here. The guys seemed a lot like some of the kids back home, so the parties should too. I picked out a pair of gray skinny jeans, my favorite black tank, and my red sweater. I left the sweater open and pulled the chain out from under my shirt. I always wore my chain; I only took it off in the shower. It held a large, old style key that went to a box I kept hidden at home.

Once I was dressed I did my makeup in the dresser mirror. I put on my standard black eyeliner and mascara, and then added some red eye shadow and lip-gloss. I played with my hair for a few minutes before giving up. I decided to just leave it down and threw my gray beanie on.

I looked in the mirror. Unlike yesterday, when I couldn't recognize the person in front of me, today I saw more of a resemblance. My smile wasn't as forced, and there was more color in my cheeks. Maybe thirteen was still my lucky number, and coming here was going to be a good thing.

Right at seven there was a knock on my door. "You ready?" Rian asked.

"Yeah," I called while grabbing my phone and slipping it into my back pocket before opening the door.

We went downstairs to the living room, where my aunt and uncle were sitting on the couch.

"Mom, Dad, Addison and I are going over to Jack's."

His mom looked at him knowingly. "For a party?" apparently she lived up to my mother's descriptions, she knew everything.

"Uh, yeah." That's all Rian said.

"Okay, fine, but Addison? Be careful. And Rian, watch out for her."

"I think she'll be fine. It's just a party," Rian answered his mother.

"Please? Just keep an eye on her," she said looking at me the whole time.

"Don't worry, I wont drink," I said knowing exactly why she was pressuring Rian to keep an eye on me. She just nodded, excepting my statement, while Rian looked at me like I was crazy. Apparently he didn't know why I was here.

Rian, Alex, and I drove to the party together. I immediately got in back, not wanting to be rude by sitting up front. Alex slid in beside me, while Rian got in the driver's seat and pulled out of the driveway. I glanced at Alex who was smiling at me. Rian looked back at us in the rearview.

"So, Addison. Why did you promise my mom that you wouldn't drink?" he asked. I was right; he must not know the details as to why I was sent here.

"What? You're not going to drink? At a party?" Alex gasped looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"Uhmm. No, I really shouldn't drink," I said hoping that would satisfy Rian.

"Well, none of us _should_ drink," added Alex, who bumped me with his shoulder.

"No shit. But I really shouldn't."

"Why?" this from Rian.

"Well," I hesitated. If it was just Rian in the car, I would have no problem answering, but with Alex next to me, I didn't want to. "I just used to get in trouble when I drank." That was the short version, the very short version.

"You mean that's why you were sent here?" Rian asked.

"Well, that's part of the reason. I'm surprised your mom didn't tell you why I was sent here." I looked at Rian's profile as he drove.

"Oh, she just told me that your parents were having a hard time 'putting up with you,'" he said making air quotes with his right hand.

I laughed.

When we got to the party I looped my arms through both Rian's and Alex's as we made our way up the steps. Jack greeted us at the door, plastic red cup in hand.

"Addison! You came!" Jack exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug. He was obviously already drunk.

I smiled, "I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I thought we scared you away." He turned his smile into a frown and gave me sad eyes.

"Well, unfortunately for me, it takes quite a lot to scare me away."

We made our way inside. People were everywhere. Either dancing, making out, or just standing around in groups. I felt awkward, seeing how I didn't know anyone. Rian put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was sure about not drinking. I nodded and he headed to the kitchen.

I found a place to lean near the living room and watched everyone, while reminiscing to when I used to be one of them.

I felt hands slip over my eyes from behind. I felt slightly uneasy, but I wasn't scared. I knew how to fight back if I needed to. Then I heard a familiar voice.

"Guess who?"

"Oh, no! Not the serial killer again!" I exclaimed in fake horror.

Alex let me go, facing me with a smile. "The one and only, I've come to finish the job," his smile turned devious as he downed the contents of the red cup he now had in his hand. Setting the cup down, he asked me if I wanted to dance. I followed him to the dance floor, where I decided to let loose and have some fun.

After a while he needed another drink so I watched as he went into the kitchen. While I was standing against the wall waiting for either Rian or Alex to come back, someone came over to stand in front of me.

"Hey," he said.

"Uh, hi."

"I noticed you dancing earlier, what's your name?"

"Addison." I wasn't too talkative at the moment.

"Do you want to dance, Addison?"

"Umm. No thanks. I'm good."

"Addison, are you cheating on me?" Jack asked as he came up behind the guy I was talking to.

"Hey Jack." I smiled. He unknowingly saved me from having to socialize, something I've avoided pretty well for the past two months.

"How about dancing with me?" Jack asked, obviously convinced I would.

I just smiled. The other guy had disappeared, so why not. Jack and I started dancing to a fast paced song, grinding and moving to the beat. All of a sudden I had a flashback.

"_Addie! Come dance with me," he said._

_I smiled and sighed. There was no way to get around it. I would have to dance with Tyler at some point; he was my best friend after all._

_We were dancing to an old AAR song when I heard her voice. I could never forget that voice. It was like nails on a chalkboard to me, piercing and shrill._

"_What the hell do you think your doing?" she asked._

"_We are just dancing, Kris. Calm down," Tyler said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder._

_I rolled my eyes walking away. I couldn't stand her. Kristina fucking Turner._

"Addison? Are you okay?" someone was asking.

"Huh?" I couldn't focus on who was in front of me. I felt someone's hands on my arms holding me up, but I couldn't even remember where I was.

"What's going on? Is she okay?" This voice sounded really familiar, but I couldn't place it.

"I don't know, maybe we should take her home."

"Yeah, let me help you."

Suddenly I remembered where I was. I was at a party. I was with my cousin and his friends. Tyler was nowhere around, and neither was Kristina. I was safe. I blinked hard and focused on who was carrying me.

"Umm. Can you put me down?" I asked.

"Are you sure? Are you okay?" Rian asked from my right side.

"Yeah, put me down Alex." He did, but held my waste; probably not sure I would be able to stand by myself. "Really, I'm fine. You can let me go."

I started to walk back into the house towards the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Alex asked from behind me.

"I think I'll have that drink now," I said, not stopping.

"Do you think that's a good idea? You practically passed out back there."

Good point, but I needed to wash down the emotions and memories that had begun to flood back in.

"What happened to your promise not to drink tonight?" Rian asked, apparently he was following too.

"Fuck my promise," I said as I grabbed a plastic cup and began to pour in some alcohol. I think I stunned the guys, because they were just staring. I winked and then downed my cup before refilling it.

"Okay. Maybe you should slow down a bit," Rian said grabbing the cup from my hand.

"Hey, give that back," I said indignantly.

"You may want to through out your promise not to drink, but I promised to watch you either way, so I'm saying slow down," Rian said as he pulled me out the back door into the moonlight.

Sadly I could hold my liquor pretty well and one drink wasn't going to cut it, so there was no way to escape my thoughts. I sat down on a step just looking out at the tree line.

"So," Rian started when he sat down. Somehow we lost Alex on our way outside.

"So," I mimicked.

"Are you going to tell me what happened back there?" he asked.

I looked up into his eyes and saw that he was concerned. We may not have been extremely close growing up, but we still had a bond, and he cared. That surprised me and I had to look away to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"I'll take that as a no," he sighed.

"No," I said, turning to look at him. "It's just that I didn't expect you to care. No one ever does."

"You mean your parents?"

I nodded, "and everyone else."

"Addie, that's not true."

"Please don't call me that," I whispered.

"Why does that name upset you? We've always called you Addie."

"It just does, okay."

"Okay. But tell me something." I nodded hesitantly. "Why did you come here? The real reason."

"You don't want to know the whole reason," I glanced away as he put his hand on my arm, reassuring me. "Let's just say something happened at a party that landed me in the hospital. Not to mention left me wishing I was dead." I let out a small laugh. "After that party, I drank constantly. I was suspended from school too many times to count. My parents sent me to therapy, but they couldn't help me. No one could. The damage was done. And here I am," I said gesturing with my arms.

"So this party? What happened?"

"Lets not go there, okay?"

He nodded, obviously letting it go. I stood up and walked back into the party, grabbing a drink on my way towards the living room. I found Alex talking to a few girls. I remembered Rian's warning about Alex being a player, but shoved it aside. I ran up to Alex putting my hands over his eyes like he had done before.

"What the—"

"Shh… I'm looking for the infamous Baltimore serial killer."

Alex spun around smiling. "Hey, you."

"Hi," I smiled brightly at him. If Rian wasn't going to let me get wasted to forget the thoughts swirling around in my head, then I would find another way. "So, I was hoping we could dance again," I whispered in his ear.

"Are you a mind reader?" he asked leading me to the middle of the room.

We started grinding almost immediately and Alex rested his hands on my hips. It felt good to relax into him. I put my hands up over my head to wrap around his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair. I could feel his reaction against my backside and I smiled.

"Addison? What are you doing?"

"Shh…"

When the music changed to a slow song I spun around in his arms, looking into his eyes. I saw lust and a hint of something I couldn't identify. Before thinking about it I slipped my hands around his neck, pulling him down so I could kiss him. He hesitated at first, and then joined in the kiss, pulling me closer to him.

When the kiss ended I moved one hand to rest against his chest as I looked into his eyes again. This time I saw a mixture of lust, need, and that same emotion I still couldn't name.

"That was—wow."

I just smiled as I moved my hips slightly, causing him to gasp, and me to start kissing him again.

Something broke us apart. Rian was pulling me aside. He tugged on my arm, leading me outside. I looked back to see Alex following.

"Rian, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Taking you home."

"I don't want to go home yet."

He spun around and I stopped facing him. He wasn't angry. His eyes said he was concerned.

"Oh, you want to stay, and fool around with Alex, right?" he looked past me, not waiting for an answer. "Why would you make a move on my cousin?" he sounded incredulous.

"What? We were just kissing," I said, not seeing the problem. Rian wasn't paying any attention to me: he was glaring at Alex.

"Dude, she's right. We were just kissing," Alex offered, even though we both knew it would have led to something else if Rian hadn't of stepped in. We could both tell that Rian was angry with Alex for some reason.

Rian turned to look at me. "Come on, we are going home."

I didn't argue. Rian had become my one friend here. He was the only person I had offered up information to, no that the information I gave was anywhere near the whole truth. I didn't want to give up my one friend after only a day, so we left the party early.

It was only 11:00 when we got home. The lights were all off. As we made our way to our rooms, Shannon peeked her head out her bedroom door.

"Oh, your home early. How was the party?" she asked, surprising me.

"Fun, but Addison was tired, so we came home early," Rian stated. I glanced over to see him nod. He wasn't going to rat me out and tell his mom that I had been drinking when I told her I wouldn't. I thanked him silently before going into my room.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was fun to write. I haven't gotten to the really good stuff yet, so keep in tune.**

**Again, reviews would be lovely! I've already written ahead a bit, but input is generally accepted, so let me know what you think.**

**Thanks :)**


	3. This Is How We Do

The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon drifting upstairs. I could tell it was early and glanced at my phone. It was only 8:22. Why did I have to wake up now?

I threw my gray cardigan on over my pajamas and walked downstairs. I found Shannon, Bill, and Rian sitting at the kitchen counter.

"Oh, Addison, honey, your up. We were going to let you sleep in, but since your up. Would you like something to eat?" my aunt asked.

I nodded, my stomach was growling. "That would be nice." I took a seat next to Rian at the counter while Shannon made me a plate. He didn't look at me.

"Now that your up, would you like to come to church with us?" she asked as she set the plate in front of me.

I looked up with questioning eyes. "You mean I have a choice?" I asked. My parents just dragged me along; they never asked if it was something I wanted to do.

"Of course you have a choice, but I would like you to go," she said, watching me.

"Okay. I'll go," I said, somewhat surprising myself. It wasn't that I didn't like church. I just resented my parents for not giving me a choice in whether or not to go. I smiled before digging into my eggs and bacon.

After church I went to my room and sat on my bed. I pulled out my guitar and started to play. I didn't really know many songs, but I loved to play around with different chords. I never really played anything specific, nor was I trying to create anything. I played to keep my hands and my mind busy. Other than alcohol, my guitar was my only escape.

The day went buy fast, before I knew it I was getting dressed for bed. Tomorrow was my first day of school in Baltimore. I can't lie. I am nervous. I only know Rian and the guys in his band, so I don't really know what to expect tomorrow.

The next morning my alarm went off at 6:30, but I had been up for an hour already. I was just lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. I decided it was time for me to get showered and figure out what I was going to wear.

After I was dressed in a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a Bayside band tee, and my red sweater (yes I wore it a lot!), I just stood in front of the mirror deciding what to do with my hair. I ended up pulling it to the side to make a loose braid and then grabbed my sunglasses and backpack as I made my down the hall.

Rian opened his door just as I was walking by. "Hey, ready for school?" he asked sarcastically.

I laughed. "Oh, yes! I've been sitting on pins and needles waiting!" Two could play the sarcastic card.

This was the first time Rian spoke to me since we came home from the party on Saturday night. I couldn't help but think he was mad at me for some reason. Then again, that's always what I thought when someone stopped talking to me, probably because in the past it was always true.

"Um. Alex and I usually carpool, and today is his turn to drive, so he should be over here soon."

I just nodded. Rian wasn't looking me in the eye; it was as if he was trying to hide something from me. I let it go.

"'Kay, well I'm ready whenever." I started to walk downstairs but was stopped by Rian's words.

"Look," he seemed kind of nervous, "I wanted to apologize about the other night. I shouldn't have made you leave. It's just that I know Alex and even if you thought all you were going to do was make out, I'm pretty sure that's not what he thought."

"I'm a big girl. I can handle Alex," I said turning away.

"I'm sure you can. I just. I don't know. That night you told me that the reason you're here all stems back to some party. I don't know what happened at that party, but I guess I was just trying to make sure nothing happened at this party."

"Thanks Rian. I'm grateful that your looking out for me and all, but can we make a deal?" he nodded so I continued. "If I need your help, I'll ask for it. Until you know my story, you wont know what you're trying to protect me from. I will come to you if I need you." I wasn't ready to tell him everything yet, and until I did, I wanted to be free to at least have a little fun.

"Sounds reasonable. One thing though," it was my turn to nod. "Please don't get involved with Alex."

I just looked away, not sure I wanted to agree to that. We walked downstairs to find Alex waiting on the couch.

"Hey, Rian. Addison. Ready to go?" When he said my name he locked eyes with me. I don't know why, but it made me smile.

We got to school at 7:45, which gave me enough time to find the guidance office to get my schedule. I had Calculus first period. When I found the classroom the bell had already rung. I walked to the teacher's desk to hand him the slip I had to have all my teachers sign.

"Addison Stuart? Nice to meet you. There's an open seat over there." He pointed to a seat by the window and I sat down. "Well, class. Since it is the first day, why don't we just get the formalities out of the way so we can relax for the rest of the period?"

I could tell I was going to like this teacher. When the bell rang I walked into the hall where I saw Jack.

"Addison! How's your first day?" he squealed.

"Exciting!" I said trying to sound enthused.

"I know, right? I hate school."

I laughed. This kid made me smile.

"So what do you have next?" he asked.

"Umm." I looked down at my schedule. "English. Room A12. Any idea where that is?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll show you, it's this way." We walked together, hopefully in the direction of my next class. Many people greeted Jack apparently he was well liked. Not that it surprised me. "A12. Here you go," he motioned to the door on my right."

"Thanks Jack."

He hugged me before walking back down the hall. I smiled to myself as I walked into the classroom. I found a seat near the back and got out my phone. I had two new texts.

The screen read 'From: Tyler.' I opened the message, curious as to what he wanted to say. **Miss you. Why haven't you called? I really need to talk to you.**

I deleted it and moved to the next.

'From: Toby.' **Hey, guess what? Mom said she missed you! Freaky right? I miss you too, be sure to call sometime soon. Love you!**

I smiled as I started to type a reply.

"Texting in class, on the first day? Tsk, tsk. You are a problem child aren't you?" Alex had taken the seat next to me.

I was grateful to see a familiar face in one of my classes, especially this familiar face.

"Class hasn't started yet, so don't get too excited," I said smiling at him as I tucked my phone back into my pocket.

"Who were you texting anyway?" he asked, catching me off guard.

"Uh, my little brother. He said my mom actually misses me. I don't know if I can believe him." I grinned.

"Little brother huh? Is that supposed to be code for boyfriend? So I wont get jealous?" he asked with a smirk.

I froze before I caught myself. I mean, how could he know Tyler had texted me also? I laughed it off. "No, I'd tell you if it was my boyfriend," I lied, "I would so like to see you jealous."

He laughed turning as the bell rang, signaling the start of class. About five minutes before class ended Alex passed me a note. I unfolded it discreetly. **Want to hang out tonight?** I smiled to myself as I wrote back.

**Don't think Rian would like that.**

He wrote back quickly. **And?**

He had a point. What did it matter if Rian cared or not? I should be able to have some fun. I knew I could handle Alex, and if I needed Rian's help I knew where to find him. I did feel bad though. Rian expected me not to get involved with Alex. I hadn't exactly agreed, but I still felt like I was betraying him. The bell rang before I could write back.

"So?" Alex asked as we got up and walked into the hall.

"Why not? Just. Don't tell Ri, okay?"

"Whatever you say," he smiled as he threw his arm over my shoulder as we walked down the hall. My next class was in A25, which I assumed was at the other end of the hall. Alex walked me to the door and before he turned to leave he kissed me on the cheek. "So I'll see you after school?"

"Yeah." I didn't know how I was going to leave the house without telling Rian I was hanging out with Alex, or without lying to my aunt.

Luckily when Alex drove us home, Rian went straight into his room, while I went to find my aunt. She was in the small den off of the kitchen.

"Hey, Aunt Shannon?" I asked, still unsure of what my excuse would be.

"Yes, Addison?"

"I was wondering if I could go hangout next door?" I decided to go with the truth and just hope she wouldn't mention it to Rian.

"Yeah, of course you can. Is Rian going over with you?"

"Um. No. He's upstairs. I think he's studying." I didn't know if that last part was true, but I hoped it would help.

"Oh, okay. Well, have fun. Remember it's a school night, so be back by 8:00, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." Seriously? 8:00? What kind of curfew was that? It was still light out at 8. Whatever, I'm following the rules now. Al least that's what I keep telling myself.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's a short chapter, but the next one will make up for it. Hopefully I'll have it up tomorrow. Please remember to review.**


	4. Finish What You Started

I walked over to Alex's to find him sitting on the porch.

"There you are, I thought you were gonna ditch me," he said standing up to pull me into a hug.

"No, I just had to lock Rian in his room so he wouldn't come asking questions."

Alex laughed and pulled me inside the house. He led me up a flight of stairs to his bedroom, which I was surprised to find was spotless. Well, not completely spotless, but definitely cleaner than I had expected. He sat back against the headboard on his bed, motioning for me to follow.

"So, what do you want to do?" he asked.

"I don't know, I thought you might have an idea. You are the one who asked to hangout."

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually come," he said looking away.

"Why?" Why would he think I wouldn't want to hang out? I had kissed him the other night, right?

"Oh, w-well," he stuttered. I turned so I was facing him fully and he followed suit. "I didn't know if I scared you off at the party, you didn't hangout with us yesterday."

"Oh, I wasn't invited to hangout with you guys, Rian wasn't exactly speaking to me," I explained.

"Why not?"

"This morning he said he was sorry, that he thought I was mad at him for making me leave the party."

"Were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Were you mad at him?"

"Not really. I mean, before your ego gets too damaged, I would have liked to stay and finish what we had started," I smiled slightly at him as his lopsided grin appeared. "But I knew Rian was just looking out for me, he said so this morning. Rian thinks your going to seduce me," I said with an evil grin.

"Well, he is my best friend, he does tend to know what I'm thinking." I playfully tapped him on the shoulder. "No, seriously, what exactly was it that we started at the party?" he asked.

I asked myself the same question, before answering it immediately. _I wanted to erase the memories._ And I always needed to erase those memories, even now.

I leaned over and started to kiss Alex eagerly. I needed this, and the way he reacted told me he needed it too. We ended up making out for what seemed like only a few minutes when Alex's door opened.

"Oh, sorry," someone said as they closed the door before I could see who it was.

"Who was that?" I asked Alex.

"My mom," he chuckled. I covered my face with my hand. I was mortified. Alex grabbed my hand, pulling it into his lap while our fingers intertwined. "Don't worry, she'll leave us alone."

I don't understand why he's so calm about this, I mean; it was _his_ mother who walked in on us just now. "Yeah, but now she knows what were doing up here," I said starting to scoot away from him. He pulled me closer.

"I don't care, and neither should you." He began kissing me again, this time pinning me to the bed. I gave in; this really is what I wanted right now.

Somehow we both lost our shirts and Alex was now working on the button of my jeans. I stopped kissing him long enough to whisper in his ear, "Alex?"

"Mmhm?" he mumbled, obviously occupied with nibbling on my neck.

"Are you sure nobody will walk in on us again?"

"No, but I'll lock the door, if that will make you more comfortable," he looked deep in my eyes, before getting off the bed to lock the door.

On his way back to the bed he lost his pants. I smiled brightly up at him, intent on starting where we had left off. He finally freed me of my jeans; we were both in our underwear now. I had accomplished my goal so far. My memories were gone for the moment, it was just Alex, me, and our joint need for one another.

Alex had just slipped his hand under the waistband of my underwear when there was a knock on the door. Alex moaned into my ear, obviously not pleased by the interruption.

"Yes?" he asked without moving. I held my breath.

"Dude, open up!" It was Rian. Shit. I scrambled away from Alex searching for my clothes, while he ran to the door, pulling up his pants on the way. "I know she's her. Open the God damn door Alex!"

He knew I was in here, alone with Alex. Shit. Fuck. I horridly fixed my shirt while Alex waited to open the door. When I nodded he motioned for me to sit while he unlocked the door.

"What's up Rian?" Alex asked casually. As if nothing had been going on. Rian knew better.

"I should be asking you the same question," Rian said, motioning for Alex to look down. Alex shifted uncomfortably. I stifled a laugh, but Rian noticed. "Addison, maybe you should head home," he said looking at me for the first time.

"Rian, your not my father." I put up with it last night, but I'm not going to let him tell me what to do. I had enough people in my life telling me what to do.

He just looked at me for a moment before turning back to Alex, who still stood in the doorway awkwardly.

"Fine. Alex, sit down. We all need to talk." Alex obliged, taking a seat next to me. He seemed nervous. I wondered idly if him and Rian had ever fought before. I didn't want to come between them. I looked at Alex, trying to figure out what he was thinking but he just grinned at me before turning to Rian.

"Okay, Ri. Let's just get this over with."

"Dude, you just don't get it do you? She's my cousin for God's sake."

"Yes, and she's a big girl. It's not like I forced her to come over Ri, she wants to be here."

"Do you ever have to force someone to come over? No, they come willingly, and before they know it your shoving them out the door. I've seen how you treat girls, and I don't want Addie to be one of them."

"Ri, I can take care of myself," I chipped in. I couldn't stand them talking about me like I wasn't there.

"Besides, I know your going to try and call me on this, but seriously, Addison's different. I'm not just going to throw her out. I wouldn't do that to her, and I wouldn't do that to you. You are my best friend after all," Alex said, his voice becoming soft at the end.

"Oh, so if I wasn't your best friend, she'd be just another girl, huh?" Rian shot back.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. So what's the real problem? Why don't you want me to be with her?" Alex asked Rian while glancing at me.

I was looking at my hands, no longer wanting a part of this discussion. Little did either of them know that I was probably the one they should be mad at, not Alex. I was the one using him; he was just along for the ride. If he did treat me like any other girl he has been with I probably wouldn't care. But I'm lying to myself. I would care, and that's the reason I cannot meet Alex's questioning eyes right now.

I think he could feel my tension because he grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. At this I looked up, questioning him. He just smiled his goofy grin that I had grown to adore. He was reassuring me; no one had ever done that before. I let a small tear fall.

Apparently both buys noticed. Rian was the first to speak.

"Addison let's go, I'll walk you home."

"What if she doesn't want to go home Ri? Why don't you ask her what she wants?" Alex asked a hint of anger in his voice.

Rian stepped back unsure of what to do next. "Well, Addie? What do you want to do?" he asked with a trace of fear in his voice.

I looked from Rian to Alex, who was just watching me intently, waiting for me to decide. While I could see that Rian fervently hoped I would get up and leave with him, Alex seemed indifferent. No not indifferent, he wasn't neutral. He wanted me to stay, but he wanted me to decide, he wanted it to be my choice. That's what made up my mind, not that I needed much convincing.

I looked into Alex's eyes for a moment before turning to Rian, "I want to stay," I said in almost a whisper.

Rian nodded and started for the door. Before he was completely out he turned.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's a short chapter, but the next one will make up for it. Hopefully I'll have it up tomorrow. Please remember to review.**


	5. Hold Me Close

"Addie," Rian said in a defeated tone.

"Please stop calling me that!" I said in exasperation.

Why couldn't he understand I didn't like being called Addie anymore, in fact I hated it. The name reminded me of the memories I fought so hard to suppress.

He left without another word and I turned to Alex. He had been watching me and I felt uneasy with his eyes on me.

"So…" he tried to start. Neither of us knew what to say.

"Thank you," I whispered so lightly that I was almost positive he didn't hear.

He nodded, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. I could feel my unshed tears wanting to escape. I willed them not to, but they betrayed me, coming down swiftly but thankfully silently.

Even though they were silent Alex noticed. He tilted my head up by my chin, whipping away my tears as he looked into my eyes.

"Tell me," he pleaded breathlessly.

I shook my head, unable to form words at the moment.

He nodded, understanding my inability to tell him, and held me close as I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was dark and I couldn't remember where I was. I could feel something beneath me, moving slightly. I moved my head and noticed I was still in bed with Alex. My head was on his chest and I could feel his chest rise and fall with each breath. We were both still fully clothed and he had his arms around me, making me feel protected. I let a few tears escape. I wasn't used to feeling protected.

As I lay there thinking about why I felt safe in Alex's arms my eyes landed on the clock on the nightstand. It read 10:23. Shit.

I attempted to slip out of Alex's arms, trying not to wake him. I failed.

"Hmm," he mumbled tightening his grip on me.

"I have to go. I was supposed to be home at 8:00," I whispered in the dark.

Alex looked at his clock and started to get up, pulling me with him.

"I'll walk you home."

"Alex, it's right next door. I think I can make it," I said lightly.

"Yes, but I want to," he said simply and I didn't argue.

We walked back to my aunt's house hand in hand in silence. When we reached the door I turned to say goodbye before going inside, but he opened the door for me, walking us both in.

The house was dark. I expected to find someone waiting up for me but the downstairs was empty. As I turned to push Alex out the door I heard my name from upstairs.

"Addison? Is that you honey?" my aunts voice asked as it got closer.

"Yes," called back quietly. "I'm sorry I'm late. I fell asleep at Alex's."

She came down the stairs with a robe wrapped around her slim frame. She looked from me to Alex who was in the doorway.

She nodded to Alex, "Alex, honey, why don't you head home. It's late."

"Yes, Shannon. I'm sorry I didn't get her back in time," he said nicely. I just stared at him. Why was he apologizing? It wasn't his fault I didn't make curfew.

"That's okay dear. I'm sure it was an accident."

Alex left through the front door, throwing his lopsided grin at me before closing the door.

"I really am sorry Aunt Shannon. I meant to come back on time, but we fell asleep."

"I trust you dear. Besides, it's not like I didn't know where you were. The Gaskarths are good friends, so I knew you were safe. Now why don't you get on up to bed, it is a school night."

I nodded and followed her up the stairs. I was astonished that I wasn't in trouble.

The next morning I woke up early. I was well rested; probably because of the nap I had taken at Alex's. Instead of lounging around for the next hour I decided to get up and ready my second day of school.

After showering, I let my hair air dry while I got dressed. I picked a pair of plaid Bermuda shorts and a green tank top that matched. It was still a little cold out this morning so I put on my gray cardigan.

I did my make up simply, a little bit of eyeliner and mascara, just to outline my eyes, and some lip-gloss.

I looked into the mirror. I was shocked by the reflection. I actually remember this girl. It was the real me, the me before my life was flipped upside down. She was happy, smiling with feeling. Her eyes had even changed, they weren't as sad. I could still see the remains of sadness and hurt, but they were less defined.

I through my hair, which was now almost completely dry, into a messy ponytail and made my way downstairs. My aunt was in the kitchen eating a piece of toast while my uncle was in his den with his morning coffee. I went to the refrigerator to get a glass of orange juice.

"Your up early, dear," Shannon commented.

I nodded as I took a sip from my glass. When I set it down I apologized again.

"Aunt Shannon. I really am sorry about last night. I didn't mean to be late."

"I can see that. Do you mind telling me what happened last night? Rian seemed upset when he came home."

"Uh, yeah. I guess Rian doesn't like that Alex and I are hanging out." I glanced away. I didn't want to tell her why he didn't like us hanging out. "I don't know. But after he left Alex and I just fell asleep."

She nodded her head silently while I explained. "Well, to be honest, Rian did talk to me last night. He told me why he doesn't like the two of you together."

"Really? He told you that?" she nodded. "Then why did you let me stay there?"

"Because from what I could tell of the situation, I knew you were probably upset and needed a friend. And I think Alex is the closest thing you have to a friend right now. Can I ask you something?"

I nodded.

"I trust you to tell me the truth. I know you've been through a lot and I hope being here will help you. I think Alex can help you the most."

"Why?" I interrupted.

"Well, it's not my place to tell his story, just like it's not my place to tell Rian your story. But he's been through some tough times also. I think you two are getting along so well because you can relate to each other. I've known Alex since he was born, and you two are a lot alike. Which brings me back to my question, you and Alex. April told me she walked in on you two kissing."

I looked away, slightly embarrassed to be having this conversation.

"I just want to know if anything else happened that I should know about," she finished and I looked up.

She was basically asking me if we slept together. And she thought she should know about because of my past. Great.

"Uh. No," I said quickly. "You wanted honesty right?" she nodded so I continued. "Well, when Rian came over, he yelled at us and was mad that I didn't come back here with him. Truthfully, the only reason why I didn't was because Alex stood up for me. No one has ever stood up for me. I was upset and confused and Alex comforted me. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep, but to answer your question. No. Nothing happened."

"I believe you. Thank you for telling me."

I just looked down at my hands. Why was my aunt being so understanding? Wasn't she supposed to be the strict one? The straight-laced, do no wrong, stay at home mom?

Yet here she was letting me off the hook for my first screw up since I arrived here. Not only that, but she was almost acting like… like a friend. She understood me. She understood what I needed.

Maybe my mom knew what she was doing by sending me here after all.

* * *

**A/N: sorry it took so long, i got a little stuck, but i think i know where i'm going now**

**comment/feedback is welcome, i love input and ideas**

**i hope you like it so far.**


	6. Lay Your Heart Down

Alex and I walked into English together, taking the same two seats near the back as yesterday.

"You could have told me your mom and my aunt are friends," I said looking over at Alex. His eyebrows bunched together, not understanding my statement. "Your mom told my aunt about walking in on us yesterday," I explained.

Alex smiled his lopsided grin at me as if to say 'whoops.' I laughed as I turned my attention to the teacher who had just entered the room.

After the bell Alex grabbed my hand as he walked me to my next class. I couldn't help but notice the looks other students were giving us. I didn't understand them. The boys were looking at Alex like he had done something… triumphant, while the girls were looking at me like… like they did back home. I gasped at my realization.

Alex stopped when he heard my intake of breath. "You okay?" he asked, turning to look at me.

I nodded slightly, intending to keep myself together. I couldn't let my old emotions rise to the surface. I couldn't let the memories take over.

He squeezed my hand, giving me a look that said he knew I was lying. Thankfully he let it go, shrugging his shoulders as we continued walking down the hall.

When we stood in front of room A25 Alex leaned in. He whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek like yesterday and walking off towards his next class.

I walked into my History class, taking an open seat by the window. I didn't hear a word the teacher said. The only words I could hear were the ones in my head. Alex had said, 'I know your lying. Whatever it is, I'm here for you, you know that.'

But did I? Could I trust him with my secrets, with my story? Aunt Shannon had said she thought he was the person she thought could help me the most. How could he help me? I didn't understand it.

As I exited second period, turning to make my way to third I felt someone fall into step beside me. I glanced over to see a girl I recognized from second period.

"Your Addison, the new girl, right?" she asked although I could tell she already knew the answer.

"Uh, yeah."

"So… you and Alex, huh? You don't waste time do you?" she asked.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean. Alex and my cousin, Rian, are friends. And I guess Alex and I are too," I answered.

"Sure." That was it. She walked away. Her strut saying she was too cool for everyone around her.

I sighed. I guess kids here were just like the kids at home. The only difference being that I grew up with the kids at home. I used to be friends with everyone. Then I became known as the class slut, and no one wanted to be my friend. I still don't understand how people can turn on you like that. By the looks I had received earlier, not to mention that girl's questions, I was already being labeled. I didn't know what that label was yet, but I'm sure it wasn't good.

Fourth period went by in a blur. I now found myself in the cafeteria with Rian sitting at a table by the window. I was still receiving odd looks, but I tuned them out. I had learned to do that pretty damn well over last year. I guess you could say I perfected it. The only thing I had yet to perfect was making myself invisible. I always attracted more attention than I wanted to.

"Hey, Addison," Rian greeted absentmindedly. I could tell he was still kind of upset about the day before.

"Hey, Ri," I responded lightly.

The silence that surrounded us was almost deafening. Neither of us made a move to speak, we just sat silently disagreeing with each other's position on the situation.

I used this moment to loose myself in my thoughts. Usually I avoided any opportunity to delve into my overworking mind, but too much had changed in the past few weeks that I needed to reassess and reorganize my thoughts and feelings.

I hadn't wanted to come here in the first place but now I was beginning to think it was a move for the better than for the worst. I didn't feel like a total outcast here. I had made at least one friend, even if I had pushed my only ally, Rian, away. So what if half of the school already thought I was a slut that had already weaseled her way around. I could ignore everyone's stares and gossip; I had become a pro at home. I was used to having to defend my actions, and even things that I hadn't done. Here though, I wasn't going to defend myself. I decided right then that I would just tune them out. I knew who I was, what I did, everyone else didn't need to know the truth. Well, maybe one person deserved to know.

When I got home I went straight to my room, deciding to get the few homework assignments I had out of the way before joining the boys down in the basement for band practice.

I knew something was off the second I sat down on the dingy coach. Alex was watching me as he sang with a curious look in his eye. He, no doubt, wanted to know why I had spaced out on him earlier at school. While I was thinking about how I would approach the topic with Alex, I noticed a change in the music.

Something was missing. I looked up, realizing what was missing. Drums. Rian had stopped playing. Followed shortly by everyone else when they noticed. All heads turned to Rian, who was glaring at Alex.

Understanding what was happening I stood up. "Um. Rian? Can I talk to you for a second?"

He turned his attention to me with a skeptical look before nodding and making his way towards the stairs. Once upstairs, we took a seat on the coach in the living room.

Rian was silent. He wouldn't even look at me. I fished around for the right words. I needed to save my relationship with him. He was my cousin after all. We were blood.

"I thought you wanted to talk?" he asked after a long silence, finally turning to look at me.

"Yes, I do." I hesitated before finding the right order for the words mingling around in my head. "I wanted to talk to you about last night." He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you away. And I by no means want to come between you and Alex. But, Alex was right. I can make my own decisions. You warned me about Alex. I get that your looking out for me. But in all honesty, I fooled around with Alex _because_ of what you told me. I'm not looking for a relationship, Rian. I just wanted to have some fun. I haven't had fun in a long time."

When I finished, Rian cleared his throat. I could tell he was expecting me to say what I did.

"Um. Okay. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have tried to tell you what to do. I just, I know something happened to you. Even if you don't want to tell me about it, I want to be there for you. Okay? Just promise you'll come to me if you need to."

I nodded. That I could promise. And soon, I think I could even confide in him. We were back on the right track. Thank God.

"Come on, the guys are probably wondering what's up."

I followed Rian back down the basement stairs. Alex's gaze tracked me as I made my way back to the coach I had been occupying earlier. I watched the rest of practice while Alex kept sending me questioning glances. Silently asking me what happened between Rian and I.

* * *

**A/N: sorry it took so long.. but present - Addison and Rian are all good!**

**comment are always nice, hint hint;)**

**until next time, _love_**


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